


Fate is Such a Killjoy.

by apicalbeat



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Internal Monologue, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 10:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1815703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apicalbeat/pseuds/apicalbeat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua's internal monologue at Gon's bedside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fate is Such a Killjoy.

I just want to be with you, is it too much to ask? Never did I act like a spoiled kid in my family but this time, I wish God will allow me to act as the kid I really am.

I really just want to be with you, but fate is such a killjoy. In my life I never believed in God or destiny or purpose of existence, but your existence alone defied all these atheistic thoughts. Perhaps God actually cared for a killer like me. He even provided me a reason to turn away from my dark and live on. I found my light, and kindness has never been this beautiful.

I just want to be with you. I believed you do, too. I held on to the promise that you acknowledged me. I have given up my life just to follow you to the ends of the world. I threw away my pride, identity and ambition to suit to your needs. How many years has it been? Two years? That will never be enough. Even forever won’t suffice.

But it has come to this.   
My light has ceased to shine the moment I looked away… and I wish I didn’t.

Even in your suffering, we are still separated by this slab of glass and this thick sheet of curtains. My final moment of glory yet I chose not to be known for it, leaving an opening that one day you will search for me and profusely thank me for giving back your life, your energy, your sunshine. I hope someday you will realize what a good friend I had been, and somehow, in the process you will yearn to be with me. I was once ignored; now it’s your turn. 

As early as now I sense it is the end. I have fulfilled my part of this companionship; you will meet Ging soon after this. Meanwhile, I… I have a lot to recover. I have to forge a way out before I lose more than what I’ve lost.

I only wanted to be with you. I gave it my all, and I had enough of trying.

——

"Brother, have you been crying?" Alluka stirs from her sleep and rubs her eyes. Kilua’s reflexes were fast enough to cover up for his blotched face before she rouses to full consciousness.   
“… no.” He replies, voice unwavering, eyes fixated to the person horribly deformed beneath those sheets. “Then, are you ready?”   
Alluka turns to her brother and nods, then soon recognizes the weight of his words, the strength of his will.   
Killua gasps as his sister cups his face and declares, “You will meet him soon.”  
He masks his watery eyes.

I only wanted to be with you, but I am left without a choice.

"Nanika, return Gon to how he was." 

In your next life, you will be you, but I am afraid you won’t meet me again.


End file.
